hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
