theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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