it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
