p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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