Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
