HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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