i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
