That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she looked like the before picture.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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