what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
