Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
