I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
