i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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