batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
