Are we in a gay sports bar?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
