Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
