We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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