So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
