I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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