So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
