Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
