id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I want a musical about memes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
