Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
