i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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