She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Operation Purity has been aborted
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
