Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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