There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
