Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We are two peas in an std pod
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
