Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize