Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
