Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
