Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
