Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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