I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
