Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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