I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
