Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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