I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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