I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize