She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
