Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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