she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Houston, we have a squirter
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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