Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
