I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
