I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
zippers are such a cool invention
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
