Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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