VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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