It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
