i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
