i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
