I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
