shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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