hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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