Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
