Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
whose parrot is this?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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