sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
